The Woman in the Chair (Fictional Friday)

Just when I thought this world couldn't get any more weird, I'm corrected once again. This is a strange story, and I would never believe it if I didn't see it with my own eyes. But I did see it, and I will tell you the story now, so you will know too.

I ran into a very old friend of mine, who shall remain nameless. After we reminisced for a while, he began to confide into me about a problem that he was having at home. There was a lady in his house, living in a chair.

He had bought the house some years earlier and he knew about the problem, but he got such a great deal on the home that he decided to buy it anyway. I mean they were practically giving him the home, but it had just one small problem. There was a woman living in a chair who could not move! She had become a part of the chair, and now they were inseparable. She was just part of the house now, and she went with it on the sale.

But my friend told me he knew full well of the liability that came with the house that was practically given to him. He accepted the terms of the sale, and now he had to live with the situation.

Well, naturally, I didn't believe him. I mean really, a woman that becomes part of a chair and goes with the house? That's just crazy talk. Knowing that my friend had previously combated with a life of substance abuse, and even though I know he had completely recovered at this point, I couldn't help but think he was still having some flashbacks. And I as much as told him so as well.

He invited me to his home to prove it. I couldn't give up on the opportunity to confront my friend as a liar, or to see this aberration of nature myself. I quickly agreed, and we were off to his home.

On the ride to his home, he began to relay the story of how the woman informed him how this unlikely event unfolded. She was an elderly grandmother, who liked to knit. Her specialty was knitting warmers for extremities. I didn't dare ask which extremities as it was really was none of my business, and it didn't really matter much to the story anyway. The only thing that mattered is that she was a knitter, and she knit, knit, knit away.

But one day she got carried away with herself. Actually, it was much more than one day, it was many many days. She just got lost in her knitting and forgot what she was doing. Before she knew it she had knitted herself into the chair. She was knitted there so tightly, she couldn't possibly move or get away.

My friend had even offered to take a knife and cut the knitting away to release her, but she told him do not dare to destroy her beautiful work. So all she did was continue to knit and knit and knit. So much so that she had finally become one with the chair. And she was quite content to stay there.

Of course, my friend was stuck with cooking for her and feeding her each day. He was also stuck with the unenviable task of emptying the bed pan when it became full. But he did confide in me that some days he wouldn't empty it just to teach her a lesson. I told him TMI on that one!

I'm sure you're reading this and you have your doubts that this story that I'm telling you is true. But as I do with all of these stranger than fiction stories, I've enclosed a picture so that you can see what I saw on that day:

At least she looks happy!